Sermonizing

Now Playing Death From Above 1979 "Black History Month":



Now eating pumpkin risotto:



Now writing:

I never wrote a recap entry about the Christian fellowship event I attended on Monday night. I spent the entire day leading up to it in a state of sheer anxiety and apprehension; I always feel like a phony in church groups, as if the people there can see a burning pentagram tattooed on my forehead. I think another one of my co-workers probably sensed this, and decided to go with me sorta like a security blanket, which I was grateful for. After the band finished rockin out their Christian worship songs, the pastor took the stage and started his sermon. The first half of the sermon concerned the matter of discipleship and the obligation that Christians have in spreading the word of God. That was admittedly kind of unsettling, and I had the feeling that I was last week's homework assignment. But then he shifted into a personal anecdote about his own conversion to the Christian faith, and how he left behind the 3 hallmarks of youth and moved toward adulthood. He noted how before he found his faith, his life was characterized by 1) and egotistical inclination to talk rather than listen; 2) insecurity; 3) an insistence to actively determine his circle of friends, rather than let God (or circumstance) find his friends for him. This particular part of the sermon really resonated with me, because those hallmarks are exactly the characteristics I've noted within myself that I'm trying to work toward fixing. And I particularly valued the pastor's message that we need to regard our present circumstances as an opportunity, rather than fight against it. Of course, in context of his sermon, he was specifically referring to the opportunity to spread Christian faith to your present peers. But I interpreted it as a more general message. It's difficult to reconcile this notion with the American ideal of self-determination, which I still hold valid. But at the time, the sermon reminded me to balance those two ideals. It was definitely a worthwhile experience, and although I'm still pretty far from considering myself a Christian, I will likely be attending soon again.